Don't Even Wanna Know
by Jax's Sweater
Summary: A collection of Teen Titans oneshots, ranging from humor to fluff and friendship.
1. Halloween

**Slightly AU. Kyd/Raven friendship**

**2. Halloween**

* * *

"Trick or Treeeat!"

Raven stared in surprise and slight confusion at the young trio in front of her at the door of Titan's Tower. There stood a miniature princess, skeleton, and pumpkin.

Then the pumpkin started babbling in a familiar voice, the skeleton began shouting, "Gimme gimme gimme CANDY" and the princess was smiling sweetly and holding a seemingly invisible person's hand.

Melvin, Teether, and Timmy. (and Bobby)

"Raven!" Melvin cheered, running forward and letting go of Bobby's claw, "Happy Halloween!"

Raven still stared in a mix of bafflement and shock as they all ran forward and greeted her. She turned to her left to see Kyd Wykkyd eyeing them curiously as he walked over from the Common room. Raven scooped up Teether — who in the process of being lifted dropped his pacifier and was now wailing. Bobby became visible and grinned, and Timmy was screeching for candy again.

"Kyd, this is Melvin, Teether, and Timmy. They're... honorary Titans," she explained over the noise. He smiled and walked closer. When Timmy saw the cowl and red eyes, he shivered a little and hung closer to Raven.

"What're you all doing here? And how did you get here? We live on an island."

Melvin, ignoring her second question, smiled. "Do ya 'member after the Brotherhood of Evil thing, when you said we could all go Trick-or-Treating together?"

Raven shook her head.

Melvin frowned and jutted out her lip. "Well you did. So we gotta go trick'er-treating now. And we're not leaving till we go!"

Raven stared at the child, whose tiara was beginning to slip. Timmy and Teether were now silent; she had a moment to think.

"...Alright. Let's go." she sighed in defeat. The kids — and Wykkyd — all cheered.

A half hour later, the party of five was walking along the streets of Jump City. Raven was already irritated as she had to teleport all of the children across the bay to the city; Timmy didn't want to go with Kyd since he proclaimed he "didn't want any of his bad-guy germs to get on him." So what if Kyd was "evil"? No one would know that he was even over at the Tower; the rest of the Titans were at some party or patrolling the streets. Being friends was their secret.

"Sooo... where do you want to trick-or-whatever?" Raven asked Melvin. The young girl smiled brightly before pointing to the East. "There's some neighborhoods over there," she said.

Raven sighed before pulling up her hood and following the young children towards said direction. Kyd Wykkyd patted her shoulder sympathetically, smiling weakly. Teether was the only one who didn't mind being carried, so Kyd had the young child in his arms. Raven smiled back with pursed lips before trailing after Timmy, who was running towards a group of teenagers dressed as the Scooby Doo gang. Apparently that was his favorite cartoon.

It was going to be a long night.

,.,

"Um... Aren't you a little old to be dressing up?"

A middle-aged woman in a one-piece exercise suit looked Raven and Kyd Wykkyd up and down with a disapproving frown. Raven growled under her breath and Kyd had to hold an arm out to stop her from attacking the woman that had been handing out candy to the kids.

"No. No we're not." Raven spat as Melvin, Teether, and Timmy rushed down the steps. Raven blew up the woman's bowl of candy and shut the door in her face, leaving the exercise lady baffled behind her now-closed front door.

Wykkyd silently snickered as he followed the sorceress down the driveway to the next house, where a man dressed as Frankenstein dropped black licorice into the young Titan's jack-o-lantern-themed candy bags. Timmy took one glance at the cheap sweets and began screaming about who-knows-what.

Raven face-palmed herself. Of course he had to throw a tantrum right in the middle of the street where a huge group of people were gathered.

Shrugging her cloak back from her shoulders, Raven briskly walked over to the annoying child and scooped him up, effectively shutting his mouth with a wisp of black magic. Yes, she loved these kids with all her heart, but come on. It would be nice if they weren't always trying to ruin her. People shot her, the kids and Wykkyd stares; what was a Titan, a villain, and three young children doing trick-or-treating? It baffled them all.

,.,

"Now we gotta trade candy!" the other children cheered at Melvin's suggestion. They were back at Titans Tower, the kids sitting in a triangle-circle thing in the middle of the floor and the older "kids" on the couch.

Melvin began seriously explaining the rules to the others and Raven couldn't help but smile at their childishness. Kyd smiled at Raven, who glared back at him. "What?" she said. He shrugged and gestured to the kids, back to Raven, and made a movement like he was cradling a baby. "You're like a mother to them," was what he meant.

Raven rolled her eyes and pulled up her hood. "Yeah, right." she muttered.

Kyd smiled knowingly before curling his cape around himself, disappearing in a second. And just then the other Titans entered, laughing and greeting Raven and the kids.

Melvin looked up abruptly. "Hey, where'd the creepy guy go?"

"What?"


	2. Trouble

**This chapter is pointless and sucky.**

**3. Trouble**

* * *

"You do realize why you're here, right?"

Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast boy all shifted uncomfortably. They were in the office of City Hall, covered from head to toe in rofgluh; a new Tameranean dish created by Starfire. Apparently, Earth conditions weren't right for the purplish dish and it exploded.

All over the tower.

So then, Starfire dragged Beast boy and Cyborg out to get ingredients for a new dish, except they got into a fight and ended up ruining part of the city park... during the grand opening.

So here they were, sitting in the office where a very peeved mayor was staring them down with flared nostrils and bulging eyes. "You do, right?"

Starfire spoke up then. "It is because of the explosion of the rofgluh; yes?"

The mayor narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Young lady; I understand you are foreign, but please respect that I am _not. _I will not tolerate any of this babbling. We here as the law-enforcers understand you 'superheros' are teenagers, but respect my city... or else."

Cyborg rolled his eyes. Beast boy was secretly playing a handheld video game under the desk, and Starfire was looking confused.

"Now," the older man began, "I don't mean to lecture, but..."

Beast boy had already tuned him out and was now waiting for a chance to escape. When the mayor turned to get a glass of water, the green changeling morphed into a mouse and scurried across the dark blue carpet to the door. What he wasn't expecting was for two dark blue boots to block his way. And craning his little rodent neck, he gazed into the disapproving eyes of Raven.

"_Oops,_"

"Beast boy, what are you doing?" she said. He squeaked and began grooming his face, hoping she would just think he was your everyday green rodent.

Yeah, she didn't.

Using the old spell that Malchior — Rorek, whoever — taught her, she turned him back to human, making a loud crash on the ground. When the mayor saw him, his face grew red and his nostrils flared again.

Then he started blabbering in a stern voice about responsibility and Raven had to teleport everyone out of there before the mayor exploded like the rofgluh.

As they walked back towards the tower, Beast boy was laughing maniacally "We're going to be in _so _much trouble for leaving like that!"

Raven shrugged. "We've been in worse."


	3. Vegetarians

**True fact: Raven is allergic to chicken feathers.**

**4. Vegetarian**

* * *

"Mrooooo,"

Raven stared in disgust at the huge green animal only a few feet in front of her.

Beast Boy. As a cow.

Interrupting her lunch.

Again.

"I don't care what you do, Gar." Raven said, turning back to her hamburger. (Who knew she liked them?) "But I'm still going to eat meat."

The cow huffed in frustration and mooed again.

Raven shook her head. "Nope."

She hadn't taken a bite of her meal yet; even though she said him being there didn't bother her, the truth was she was actually getting grossed out. She would never admit it, though.

Suddenly the cow was now a chicken. Its head twitched as he made whimpering, chicken-y noises. He fluttered up onto the table. He _wasn't _going to lose this battle.

Raven started sneezing like mad. "Beast — _achoo! — _Boy, I'm allergic to — _sniff, sniff — _chickens," she sneezed. The chicken made some sort of snickering noise as he sat down comfortably in front of the half-she-demon with a smirk on his beak.

"Beast Boy! _a__choo!_" Raven said angrily. She couldn't stop sneezing and now her eyes were watering. Striking out blindly with her hand, aiming for the feathery bird, she accidentally knocked over her cup of tea. She heard him chicken-laughing again.

"I'm going to _sniff _kill... you."

With her powers, Raven shot out again, whacking the offending green bird off the table... but also getting feathers all over the place.

Beast Boy crashed to the floor in human form, laughing openly now. Raven was still sneezing like there was no tomorrow, and the other three Titans happened to walk in at that exact moment.

Now, if you know Raven, you know her powers are controlled by her emotions. And while sneezing isn't technically an emotion, it definitely made her powers go crazy. Things were blowing up everywhere and BB was still cackling like a hyena.

It was an odd sight.

"Um...I think I'll go work on the T-Car," Cyborg said before slipping away.

Starfire whispered something to Robin that made him blush and those two left, too.

And let's just say after that incident Raven didn't ever want to eat a burger again.

...That made Beast boy very happy.

* * *

**I need suggestions now! ;-;**


	4. Shock

**Thanks jakefan, Stella Bella 123, and titanfan45 for reviewing! I took all of your suggestions into this chapter. Also, the next update won't be till I get at least 7 more reviews. **

**I ****live off of those. **

**5. Shock **

* * *

"Friend Raven, what is this device used for?"

Raven looked up from her new book to see the alien girl, Starfire, holding a microwave oven in one hand like it weighed nothing. The darker girl quirked an eyebrow. It had only been a week since they completed Titan's tower and formed the team, but already Starfire had taken to asking Raven about everything and anything she didn't understand.

Which was a lot.

And apparently now the microwave was the current object that baffled the Tameranean being.

"Uh, that's a microwave," Raven told her. Starfire cocked her head. "What is it used for?"

"Heating up food," Raven answered.

"And is it.._. electronic?_"

Starfire whispered the last word as if saying it aloud was wrong.

"Um...yeah, Starfire. It has to be plugged in to work."

With an 'eep,' Star dropped the device and readied starbolts.

Just then the doors to Ops slid open to reveal the Boy Wonder himself. His face softened the slightest bit when he saw Starfire. Confusion passed over his features when he saw her in a battle-ready mode.

"Starfire... What are you doing?" he asked, his mask narrowing. Raven had wondered if he ever took it off.

"The electronic device..." she whispered, "Will explode like friend Raven,"

"..." Raven looked skeptical.

Robin immediately knew what she meant. "Ohhh, Raven, remember last week when you blew up the toaster?"

The dark girl blushed lightly.

"Yeah...?"

Robin smiled. "Starfire, uh, what else did you notice when that toaster exploded?" Robin knew he _really, really, REALLY _shouldn't be patronizing Raven — there was something about her that screamed "bother me and suffer a painful death," but he couldn't resist. Very out-of-character for him.

Starfire looked slightly puzzled as she tapped her finger to her lip. "Um... Oh yes! Beast Boy was in the room," she said, although still looked like she was trying to remember something.

Robin snickered quietly. "And what was he _doing...?_"

Raven was blushing like mad as she yanked her hood down over her face. The dark blue fabric reached past her chin and her knuckles were white from clutching it so hard.

A light bulb appeared over Starfire's head. "He was doing the hugging! And the jokes Cyborg referred to as suggestiv—" before she could finish her sentence, A black raven's claw snatched her up and threw her out the window. The glass sprinkled across Ops. Raven turned to Robin, and he took a step back in fear when he saw her eyes — blood red.

Raven growled before throwing him out another window, realizing too late that he couldn't fly.

"Oops," she shrugged.

"RAVEN! We heard the glass smash; what happened?!" Cyborg looked determined as he and the changeling raced into the room. Raven shrugged, avoiding Beast Boy's gaze as she left. "I guess I lost control of my powers; that happens sometimes," she muttered.

Cyborg and Beast Boy had question marks over their heads as they took in the microwave on the ground and the broken windows.

Then Cyborg shrugged. "I _better _not have to get used to this," he said.

_Riiiight, _BB thought.


End file.
